This is a story about McLovin. Of course McLovin is not his real name (it sounds like a sexy hamburger, after all) but everybody calls him that because he reminds them of the character so much. He doesn't really look like him, but he's got that certain
je ne sais nerd air about him.
Anyway, if you have an idea of who his namesake is then that gives you a pretty good idea of McLovin. And one day, McLovin had to do a female Section 12. (Section 12's, for the uninitiated, are handy little slips of paper that say you're too crazy to take care of yourself/not harm others and therefore we can take you against your will.) This Section 12 is particularly crazy. She's screaming, she's spitting, she's calling him names, she's calling his mother names, she's combative - just whatever you can think of, she's doing it.
So he's in the back of the ambulance with her, and she's yelling at him and he's trying to do paperwork, so he keeps his head ducked down over his laptop and he ignores her. She throws something at him, and it hits his cheek, but it only stings a little so he doesn't think anything of it. After what seems like an eternity, they finally get to the ER.
They walk into the ER and McLovin goes to give the nurse a report. The ER nurse says, "Oh my god! Did she hit you?"
And McLovin is all, "Um..n-no...why?"
"Well, your face," the nurse says, "it's bleeding."
Which, of course, was when he realized that she had taken out her blood-soaked tampon and whipped it at his face.

THE END
sadly no, McLovin is not friends with Michael Cera....'s body double